A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation: Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

If you are like most people and ever tried to research beginning a meditation practice, there are hundreds of apps, blog posts, guides and stories on different types, advice and tips and helpful suggestions on getting started. And while we love that meditation has become so mainstream, it can become overwhelming very fast, when you don’t know where to start.

When many people think of meditation, they think of sitting perfectly still, not thinking about anything…which for most, is impossible. However, over the years I have come to learn that meditation takes on many forms and it is not about rejecting thoughts, but being able to still your mind long enough to notice them.

Meditation in its simplest form is a practice that involves training your mind slow down, focus and redirect your thoughts. And while most people use it for stress reduction, relaxation, and improving mental clarity, when used daily, it has many other benefits on your body and your soul.

You can think of meditation like hitting the reset button for your mind. Because let’s face it…life can get crazy most days and you can barely take a break for yourself, let alone for your mind to slow down and get quiet. Do you ever have your phone get glitchy and slow, and you just restart it to make everything run smoothly again? Or you have too many tabs open on your computer and everything just comes to a screeching halt until you close a few down or restart the computer? That's sort of what meditation does for your brain. It's like a mental refresh where you take some time to sit quietly, focus on your breathing, and let go of all the crazy thoughts buzzing around in your head. It can help you feel calmer, more centered, and ready to tackle whatever life throws at you. Plus, it's a great excuse to just zone out for a bit.

We asked some experts for their best advice on getting started and easy ways to incorporate a basic practice into your everyday life.

What is meditation good for? Why is it a good daily practice?

“Meditation is a self-care activity that can help stabilize and elevate your mood, says Dalia Wallach, TNM meditation teacher and mindfulness coach at Get Glow. “Meditation helps you shift from busy, active thinking to a deeper state of inner quietness. It strengthens your ability to focus too. It can bring out a more compassionate, calm, and accepting approach to whatever happens in your life,” states Wallach. “You get to connect with a powerful neutral place of observation within yourself. Over time, it teaches you how to better recognize the subtle impulses from within ex. your intuition, sensitivity, creativity, and vitality. They become easier to access the more you meditate, which is pretty cool!”

Radha Metro-Midkiff, Certified Life Coach and the Executive Director for the Integral Yoga Institute New York tells us that meditation can enhance your mental and physical health in many ways. “The most common benefit is for stress reduction, it has been shown to help to lower levels of cortisol and increase dopamine and serotonin,” says Metro-Midkiff. “Other benefits could be to improve concentration, support your mental health (it is often used in CBT and DBT), and enhancing your sleep. But, the ultimate goal of meditation is to quiet the mind so you may experience your own true nature or inner peace and learn to carry that feeling of peace and calm with you throughout your daily life. Practicing meditation daily is like training for your brain.”

What are the health benefits of meditation?

Tom McCook , founder of Center of Balance, and Balanced Body Educator at Balanced Body says “there has been over 50 years of science-based research on the benefits of meditation to our health and wellness and the evidence is very positive. He goes on to say that, “it lowers blood pressure, assists in emotional regulation, lowers stress, cultivates resilience and personal responsiveness, and improves perspective. Meditation has been proven to be good medicine.”

Metro-Midkiff explains that, “meditation is good for stress reduction, high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, pain management, morning sickness, ADHD, and so much more. Google scientific study on meditation and …(insert your symptom or illness) and chances are you will find a benefit.”

A regular meditation practice can help your brain better manage stress and anxiety that can trigger depression,” says Wallach. “A Harvard study found that beginners who meditated for just eight weeks literally grew their gray matter in the areas of the brain associated with self-awareness and compassion. Meanwhile, the area of the brain associated with stress, grey matter shrank in the amygdala.”

Kayla Naab, Founder & Guide at DIA states that, “meditation has countless benefits but the most important two outcomes for me and my clients, are nervous system co-regulation and access to self signals. She goes on to explain that, ”nervous system regulation refers to the somatic process of calming the body's fight-or-flight response, extraneous nerve responses, and physical state of being so that the mind and spirit can safely enter and engage with the present moment. A regulated nervous system will allow you to make clear-minded decisions, perceive situations as they are, react calmly, move patiently, and access peace and pleasure -- necessary states for developing your preferences and markers of identity. Access to self signals refers to one's ability to check in with themselves, connect to their conscience, hear their inner voice, feel their gut responses, and receive reliable input or feedback from all external and internal systems. To access these signals effectively, you'll need to have a regulated nervous system, a safe environment, and an attentive presence of mind -- all facilitated by and through meditation.”

What is your best advice for getting started on meditating?

McCook offers some great insight…

“Meditation can be a confusing term, what am I meditating on? My experience and understanding is meditation is really an attention practice. It's a practice of bringing your attention to the present moment, your body and your breath tend to be the object of attention. Why? Sensation only happens in the present moment and when you direct your attention here, this brings you into the life of your body. It's not about attempting to stop thinking, gazing at your navel or attempting to be perfectly still. It's more about directing your attention to observing what's happening for you on a feeling & thinking level and slowing down to observe your own aliveness.”

McCook goes on to say, ”the concept that it's too difficult or takes too much time usually comes from our western-trained minds that we're supposed to be "good" at it and the results need to be immediate or it's not worth it. Or if I can't control my mind and stop thinking, I'm clearly not able to meditate and meditation isn't for me. The truth is you can have a highly trained intellect and be very skillful at tasks but not able to just be present, open and connected to your life. The Dalai Lama is known for being asked how much time he meditates each morning and he said: 1 hour and if I have a really challenging day ahead, I meditate for 2 hours! My interpretation of his point being, when you're fully present, you can be more effective and efficient with your daily work and commitments.”

“The best form of meditation is the one that you will commit to practicing,” says Metro-Midkiff. So, start small and easy and build yourself up into a more advanced practice. Small sessions daily sessions will bring more benefit than one long session every once in awhile.”

Podcast Host, Certified Holistic Health & Nutrition Coach, Mindy Duff suggests, “have a plan for WHEN you'll do it. Just like any habit, you'll need to set yourself up for success. In the beginning, just do 60 seconds of stillness without the pressure of "meditation." This will get you in the habit of doing it every day. Once you feel you are consistently able to sit daily (or almost daily) for 60 seconds, gradually increase your time.”

Duff goes on to say, “have realistic expectations for what meditation is/isn't. Too often, we think we're supposed to completely still our mind as soon as we sit down, and then get frustrated when that doesn't happen. While stillness of the mind is the goal, we call it a meditation "practice." You will not likely be able to achieve complete stillness in the beginning, and when you do, it will be fleeting. This is OK, as it's all part of meditation.

"Another tips from Metro-Midkiff is that, “most teachers suggest you create a dedicated space that you use for all your practices. Use the same cushion and mat, and even wear the same outfit. This gets the mind prepared for the practice before you even sit down to do anything. Make it a habit and build it into your routine. If the mind wanders, gently bring it back to the point of focus either the breath or a mantra.”

Are there different types of meditation? Is one better for certain goals?

Naab says that, “Sitting still isn't the only way to physically experience meditation. Any solo exercise from running to yoga to rock climbing can be meditative.” Naab suggests that, “you can meditate while folding laundry, mowing the lawn, showering, or petting your dog. You can meditate while dancing. You can journal through your meditation or recite a meditative phrase out loud. You can even meditate while riding in a car, on a bus, or on a plane -- but I don't recommend meditating while driving.”

“Each type of meditation can be better suited for different goals, such as reducing anxiety, increasing focus, or promoting deep relaxation,” states Metro-Midkiff. “The most common kinds of meditation are focusing on the breath or mantra. However, there is also Tradaka or gazing steadily at a candle flame or image. Japa meditation which is repetition of a mantra or sound vibration. There is even a form of walking meditation. Guided meditations and mindfulness meditations have also gained popularity in recent years.”

Naab continues that, “while silent meditation is effective for some, others might prefer binaural beats or frequencies, instrumental music, nature sounds (recorded or real), or even guided meditations with spoken word. For clients who are new to meditation, I often recommend a guided meditation to help them avoid swimming, distracted thoughts and stay present.”

Wallach believes that the various types of meditation, “all strive to help you get to the same place. Calm, connected to yourself, and aware. Aware of your body, thoughts, feelings, experiences in each moment as a neutral observer. Meditation helps you become mindful and peaceful.”
Wallach also says that, “TNM mediation is pretty cool. It is the one I teach. It allows you to connect to your own heartbeat. You tune into to your body and wind up hearing your heart beating. No stethoscope, just focused attention. It is called cardiac interoception when you can sense your heart beating,” explains Wallach. “Meditating with TNM leads to better emotional regulation and less anxiety in your daily life by utilizing cardiac interoception. Scientists who study the way we sense our bodies are finding that the heartbeat, particularly, can be a direct line to the brain and the mental states that reside there. High interoceptive awareness is linked to better emotion regulation and interoception training can reduce anxiety levels.”

Spiritual Teacher, Tania Karam goes on to say that, ”there are various types of meditation, each suited for different goals. Mindfulness meditation is excellent for increasing present-moment awareness, while transcendental meditation helps to transcend the ordinary thought process. Guided meditations can be particularly helpful for beginners or for specific purposes like healing or stress relief. Choose the type that resonates with your current needs and goals.”

What are your tips for sticking with it if you are getting frustrated?

Metro-Midkiff advises to “be patient. Few people sit down to meditate their first time and immediately go into a blissful state. Try shorter sessions. Also, integrate a practice like Hatha Yoga, so that your bodies aches and pains and stiffness won’t distract you during your practice.”

If one type of meditation is not feeling right, try another,” suggests Wallach. “It does get easier with practice. Even two minutes can be helpful. Once you know the benefits you can feel more motivated. It is similar to working out. You will need a desire to try it, a bit of discipline to do it and patience to keep at it. It takes practice but over time, your skills deepen. A feeling of calm, connection, and profound gratitude for life is possible every time you meditate.”

Is time/length important when meditating?

Karam says that, “while longer sessions can deepen your practice, it's more important to meditate consistently. Even a few minutes each day can be beneficial.”

Duff advises, “even 60 seconds of stillness has benefits. However if you are wanting to achieve a total stillness of the mind, be aware that even for experienced meditators it can sometimes take 10-15 min for the mind to calm down. If you are only meditating for 5 min each session and are frustrated that you can't seem to achieve stillness, it's highly possible that you aren't sitting there long enough. 20 minutes is typically sufficient for the average mediation session, says Duff.

Wallach advises it is wise to be realistic. “Beginners can start with a couple of minutes and build up over time. It can be effective to shoot for 10 minutes a day. Some people like to practice twice a day. Even a few minutes each day will bring benefits.”

Metro-Midkiff also adds, “in the beginning it is best to pick something that is easy to stick to. After some practice increase your session to 30 minutes per day. Swami Satchidananda, the found of Integral Yoga, always pointed out that 30 minutes 3 times per day is the most you need to do. However, most of us will find even that amount challenging when we are beginners.”

While longer sessions can deepen your practice, it's more important to meditate consistently, “ Karam reiterates. “Even a few minutes each day can be beneficial. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually increase the duration.”

Are guided meditations helpful or distracting?

For reference, McCook offers an explanation into guided meditations: “Guided is an instructor guided meditation where they will guide you into the practice helping you settle into and bring your attention to your body and breath. Guided meditation is usually continuous instructions throughout the time of your practice.” He goes on to further explain that guided meditations can be topic specific….e.g. mindfulness with work, anxiety, sleep, self-esteem, health, weight control and eating, and that these guided meditation sessions are focused on intentional supportive thoughts and directives to support wellness and responsiveness in each area.

Metro-Midkiff feels that, “they can be helpful in the beginning, but as the mind quiets and you begin to sink into the awareness of your own inner peace they will become a distraction.”

Karam agrees that guided meditations can be very helpful, especially for beginners. “They provide structure and direction, making it easier to stay focused. However, some may find them distracting. It's essential to try different methods to see what works best for you.”

Best resources for meditation? Guided meditations?
Metro-Midkiff suggests Insight Timer as a great source for a wide range of meditation techniques. She goes on to say that, “online or in-person workshops can offer more specialized support. But, the best resource is your own determination. Meditation does not require fancy apps or techniques. It simply requires sitting still and allowing the mind to rest.”

Karam agrees that there are many excellent resources for meditation. “Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided sessions and courses. Also you can find meditations on my books “Tiempo de Arcángeles” and “Una vida con Ángeles" that provide valuable insights and techniques. Additionally, I have a web community in which I offer a variety of meditations like the power of deserving, calming anxiety, manifesting abundance, and tools for all levels.”

Wallach recommends Get Glow if you want to learn how to use cardiac interoception for a deeper and focused meditation practice right from the start once the technique is learned.

If it is in budget, we recommend MindValley. Not only does the app give you access to hundreds of guided and sound meditations with membership, but you also will have access to hundreds of quests from manifesting and expanding your mind, to more practical ones like building a personal brand and health.

There are dozens of free and paid apps and tools for helping you along your journey, but as these experts would agree, sticking to your practice is key, even if its just a few minutes a day. Practice may not make perfect…but it is progress…and that is the goal. No one masters mediation the first time or even the first hundred times. Like anything, it is an ongoing “practice” that is like building a muscle. The more comfortable you become calming your mind, the faster and easier it will become. We suggest adding a calendar reminder every day in the beginning to just check in with yourself. This will start you on the road to a growing practice of just becoming aware of your thoughts….no labels. No pressure.

The major point we want to express is to stop being so hard on yourself. Meditation is not easy when your brain has been trained to constantly be on, alert and to multi-task. It takes practice to slow down, become aware and breathe. Just doing this for a few minutes in the morning, before bed or even during the day when you become overwhelmed with the demands of work and life, can have positive, long-lasting effect on your body and your soul.

So take a break…and a breath…you’ve got this!

Looking for more on meditation? Look for our Guide to Meditation Must-Haves coming soon!